women yoga

When children are young, it’s good to expose them to as many new experiences as possible so they can see and do new things, but also to watch and learn from you.  How are you handling yourself?  How do you relate with others? What do you do in situations where you’re frustrated, late, overlooked by a busy desk clerk or waiter in a restaurant?

  • A person comes into a new situation where their limits are tested, say, a waitress is obviously busy and not giving you the level of attention you are normally used to or expect.
  • Children who have been exposed to adults who are gracious and forgiving will politely remind the waitress of their needs, while the children who have not been exposed to life preparedness training by a mature adult might become demanding. As a result, at the table with gracious behavior , the waitress is sweet, thanks them for being patient, and offers them a free dessert.  At the table with the rude behavior, the waitress is just nervous, apologizes for their inconvenience and then forgets to offer a free dessert.
  • The children who are unprepared for life think that something magical is happening over there and that they are being punished.  They do not know that graciousness was taught and that it is something that they can attain with learning and practicing good manners.
  • The children who are prepared for life, not knowing that the other children were not prepared ahead of time for a difficult life situation, think that what’s happening at the other table is deserved and that the people at their table are superior and better people.  They will work hard in future situations to continue to learn how to deal with difficult situations better, cementing their position and earning a place of leadership.

I may be oversimplifying, but according to research, this really is kind of how it works.  People who think they’re good at something will continue to learn more about what they’re already good at and increase their proficiency.  People who see others get rewarded for something that they think they also deserve, think that the other person just got lucky.  Without awareness and without training, people will not notice that they can improve.

I am a big proponent of learning your strengths and your limitations.  Knowing what you excel at already tells you where you can really shine as you continue to gain knowledge and grow in a depth in those areas.  And knowing what you’re not good at understanding that you can become better at it, can be achieved.

Not a math person?  You can have more math intelligence simply through learning and practice.  Not a people person?  You can have more people intelligence through learning and practice.  (Warning: just because you become proficient at something that you do not have a natural talent for will not cause you to like it more.  If you are not a “People person”, managing people will not become more pleasant just because you got good at managing people.  It just become less painful!  The same with math.)